Way too Much Food

I have spent the better part of the last six weeks assistant directing The Wizard of Oz at the high school at which I work. My prior experience with high school drama clubs includes both having been in them and having advised one at my alma mater ten years ago. As in any profession, when you start a new job at a new place, comparisons are inevitable.

The production values of this show are certainly some of the most extraordinary I've ever seen. I'm impressed with the semi-computerized light board and with the fact that all of the sound cues are generated through iTunes. The full-cast cheer at the end of the show behind the curtain is something I'm not pleased with, but I can appreciate the sentimental value it holds in the hearts of the kids. The outrageous (and yet outstanding) level of videotaping and photographing would probably rival the amount of press generated by a Broadway show.

But of all of these characteristics that define what goes on behind the scenes of this and any BHS production, none is more shocking to me than The Snack Table. The Snack Table is the brainchild of the drama parents, OK, the drama moms. At some point, someone thought it was important and necessary to make sure the kids had plenty of "nosh" available backstage during each performance. And when I say, "nosh," I mean NOSH.

The snack table is actually three tables in a row containing a little or a lot of any of the following: brownies, Sun Chips, Tostitos, Smart Food, cantaloupe, strawberries, green & purple grapes, apples, chocolate chip, oatmeal or Oreo cookies, cheddar and Monterey Jack cheese and crackers, salami, pepperoni, potato chips and onion dip, three kinds of salsa, a heated three-layer nacho dip, Fritos, chocolate chip banana bread, Twizzlers, Hershey's kisses and miniatures, crumb cake, dip for the fruit, vegetables - carrots, celery, broccoli, cucumbers, grape tomatoes, dips for the vegetables, a 12" x 16" x 7" box of Italian cookies and macaroons, three bowls of pretzels in different shapes, Chex Mix, a chocolate cake, a complete setup of different kinds of teas, both herbal and caffeinated complete with sugar and honey, and bottles and bottles and bottles of water.

There are 105 kids involved with this production and about 30 adults, both paid and volunteer, so for a production such as this one, I concede that a lot of snacks would be needed on any given night to feed the whole cast and crew. When I asked the students about the reasoning behind The Snack Table, one senior explained that they've "always had" it. I have never been one to believe that "because we've always done it that way" is a justification for anything. It's not a reason. An alumna who was volunteering said that another reason they have the snack table is "because we get bored." When I suggested that perhaps they listen to music or read or do their homework, they stared at me blankly. As a guidance counselor, I'm well aware of the huge dip in grades many students involved with plays experience during the third quarter. Perhaps they'd be better served spending some spare time reviewing vocabulary rather standing at The Snack Table comparing brands of tortilla chips.

I'm also surprised and a bit shocked that the costume designer would allow eating in costume! "When I was drama club advisor" I wouldn't allow the kids to eat in costume. The vast majority of our costumes were rented and couldn't be returned with chocolate or salsa stains on them. Despite the fact that the current costumes are mostly home-sewn, a big greasy stain from French Onion dip is not appealing or acceptable either. Just because it belongs to us doesn't mean the actors should take a chance on ruining them.

"We have some fat people in England, but you (America), like everything else, have the gold medal in that." ~ Ricky Gervais

The big question, however, is: do we really need the snacks at all? At the risk of starting off a sentence with "when I did drama in high school, we never had snacks," I have to say, when I did drama in high school, we never had snacks during a show. There was also no snack table when I did summer stock and even more ironically, no food backstage when I did dinner theater! (Occasionally, a bus boy might score an entire lobster claw or tail and offer it to his favorite actress in exchange for sex, but that was a rare event, to be sure.) To the best of my knowledge, they don't have snacks on Broadway. I know that Mariah Carey and Usher, et al, have odd and often bizarre demands for food when they're on tour, but hey, they're musicians and they're dancing around a lot. They need to pretend that they eat (well, maybe not Mariah) and make sure everyone knows how diva-licious they are (especially Mariah). Movie crews have a craft services table, but that's because the hours on a movie set are long and unpredictable.

A quick visual scan of the kids in the chorus room at this very moment reveals 1/3 of them are overweight. Even the serious dancers are what you would call "healthy." There are very few of the skin-and-bones-kids a flip through your own high school yearbook would recall from your own generation. The actors' call for the show is 6 p.m., so one can presume that they may have, or should have, eaten something resembling dinner before they left the house. Then, they will snack backstage. If that isn't enough, they'll all go to Jade Pacific at 10:30 for post-performance Pu-Pu platters.

Everywhere you go in America, there is food, food and more food. The Snack Table is one small example of a huge problem in this country. We simply don't go anywhere or do anything without eating or drinking… I mean, can't it wait? It's not like any of us are starving or anything. We're not Darfur, for God's sake.

There has always been food in theaters and at sporting events, but now you can buy chocolate bars or cookies in Macy's or have a bagel while waiting for an oil change. Used to be you went to the movies and shared a bucket of popcorn with your date or friends. Now, you can get nachos (with cheez whiz!), a hot dog, ice cream, candy by the pound, etc. It's like combining the dinner with the movie. Trouble is, too many people go out before or after the movie and still eat all the junk in between, just like the drama club kids on their way to Jade Pacific. Our local US Army recruiters bring cookies to the guidance and main offices here for the holidays (as if we'd send our best and brightest to Afghanistan solely because we got a plate of Easter cookies from Shaw's). And just yesterday, Easter Sunday, there were two girls with cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee, aka 'coffee bisque,' in church. Church! It was a Unitarian Universalist church, but still...

The bottom line is that there is too much food and that it's far too readily available. We make it too easy to pick, pick, pick. I mean, if the food is in front of you, don't you pick at it? Isn't that human nature? Having too much food available 24 hours a day supports two cultural ideas: the notion of comfort and the notion of always being on the go.

I recognize that the "drama moms" feed their children because they care about them. Food is a lovely way to express caring, and yet, opening a bag of corn chips and pouring them into a bowl does not show love. Make a fruit salad, make personalized labels for the water bottles. Buy your kid flowers or bring grandma to the show as a surprise. The Army would get far further with our all-female staff if they sent us a bouquet of flowers rather than sweets. Supplying people with endless amounts of food is not the same as nurturing them. It's not the same as putting your skills and care into creating something delicious and/or permanent.

As for being on the go, I like to think that the national economic downturn might actually cause some people to slow down and reassess their priorities. Let's face it; many Americans go-go-go on the job in order to afford a big screen TV. They go into debt for them and think that they are "necessary." Ironically, the more you sit in front of your big screen TV, the more you might snack, but that's not the point. The point is, stop! Sit down and eat with your family. Have a cup of tea. Don't eat in the car. Save the eating for meals, and make meals events. You know, like they do in Ireland or Italy.

And finally, there is one more radical idea to consider...

Last fall, in anticipation of a high school reunion, I decided to go on a crash diet. It worked. I lost eleven pounds in two months. When my doctor marveled at how much weight I'd lost and asked me how I did it, I simply said, "I stopped eating so much food." I still ate and I still ate healthily. I just stopped eating way too much food. Once we admit that we just don't need to eat as much as we do, we can find other, more productive, more meaningful, and hopefully more delicious, ways to occupy our time.